Consider yourselves warned. You've got thirty days. (A must read for the living)

According to a man I met last night at a subway station, who claimed to be a microbiologist, (spolier alert) the birdflue will be here in thirty days. Just in time for Christmas! He also very convincingly talked about a microwave he helped invent for people. A human microwave, where you get in and get microwaved, and it cures any and all viruses (cancer, AIDS, everything) in your body by raising the tempurature of all your cells and organs to a steamy 140 degrees. He insisted that this fun device will be available to us all very soon. He also had a very smart sounding accent, so naturally I wanted to believe him.

I'm not much for the idea of microwaving people. Especially if the oven's being shared. Microwaves are hard enough to clean as it is, and cooking yourself seems a little unseemly, but seeing other people's scorched cells on the walls of any room that you must close the door too, just sounds icky.

Now like I said he had a smart sounding accent, not to mention he was wearing a jacket. Two things that a lot of doctors have and or do. Seemed pretty smart to me. On the other hand, maybe he was a part of one of those funny hidden camera shows, you know like, "Girls Behaving Badly". Those are really catching on. So I wasn't sure what to think. I tried to look more like I was waiting for the train instead. Because afterall, if this was gonna be on TV, I could use the extra face time. I had to think it through.

It wasn't until he admitted that he wasn't sure how to get back to Hollywood, even after a careful explaination of the easy directions, that I knew for absolute CERTAIN that he must be telling the truth. Most doctor biologist types don't know their ass from their elbow. I have seen this in action many times first hand, so it HAS to be true, no question!

And all I can say to you blog readers, is brace yourselves, because a dude who can't get from Wilshire and Western to Hollywood and Western is about to be in charge of cooking your bird-flu ridden ass in a month.

So basically, goodbye. I'm going to Antarctica. I'll try to blog from there. I'll see who ever made it thru that whole ordeal in the spring and maybe make a meat pie outta the rest of you provided you're not someone else's chicken salad by then. Sorry a girl's gotta eat. I need my protein.