In Pursuit of Hate

Later tonight I'm doing a spot in a storytelling show at the UCB. The topic is "Hate" and I have no idea what the hell I will talk about, but chances are these things will not make the cut.

Story 1:

Magee Larkin hated me. I can't be sure why. As far as I know I had never had a conversation with her, or even been alone in the same room with this very short, very angry, irish bad ass. Despite that, from 9th to 12th grade, at least once a week a message would travel around the halls of Holyoke Highschool that Magee Larkin would be outside waiting for me, and that a severe ass kicking would take place....

Story2:

Everybody at Highland Elementary school hated Jung Sook Jung. I'm not sure what day it was that the winds changed on that one, might've been the time her mom brought in plates full of chocolate chip cookies, or when she stopped wearing that ugly orange sweater, but somewhere along the line no one hated Jung Sook anymore. They hated someone else.

Who I wondered? I had to find out and quick. One wrong move and I could be unknowingly sharing my leggos with the new hated kid and that would leave me hated by default. And no one wanted that. I watched my friends and classmates faces for weeks for some sort of hint and got nothing. But today was the day I'd find out, I knew that for certain. Erin Kennedy passed a note that was read by each and every 10 year old in Ms. Patockiny's reading class that made that very clear. "Secret meeting at the slide after school. Bring rocks!"....

Story 3:

Robert Burt was a 20 something year old that I'd met outside of a theater in Hollywood. A well dressed, fast talking actor down on his luck. He was new in town, fresh off the bus and he needed a place to stay. "Well don't look at me, buddy. I'm not an idiot." I thought smartly to myself. Two weeks later Robert was camped lout on my couch...

Random Hate List:

I hate that I get overwhelmed by the stupidest things. I hate that I never get anything done. I hate that I hate eating alone. I hate that everyone seems to know more about how to live life than me. I hate that I wish everyone liked me. I hate my hair. I hate the way my apartment is cluttered. I hate that I have no self discipline. I hate the taste of milk. I hate that I feel alone sometimes. I hate that I turn simple things into big projects. I hate that Eddie Pepitone's I Hate Blank show got cancelled. I hate that I don't have a boyfriend. I hate that I don't know where to get a good haircut. I hate that I panic over silly things. I hate that I can't seem to master the art of sleeping. I hate that I don't have a literary agent. I hate that I don't have a commercial agent. I hate that I don't have a theatrical agent. I hate that I don't have cable. I hate that I have tiny miniature crushes on people that will never ever find out. I hate that the people I secretly have little crushes on don't end up just asking me out. I hate that so many talentless hacks have so much self confidence. I hate whoever stole my bike last summer. I hate that there are no bike shops in my neighborhood where I could buy a bike to replace that bike. I hate that I can't see out of my right eye. I hate having diabetes. I hate being afraid of getting sick. I hate that I'm afraid of dying in a car accident. I hate that I can remember every terrible thing anyone has ever said to me. I hate that at any moment someone could say something mean to me and I will repeat it inside my head for months if not years. I hate that I'm too nice. I hate that I have a hard time approaching people I admire. I hate that snow is cold. I hate that I'm not taller. I hate that I can never remember the names of bands I like. I hate that I don't have a big cool cd collection. I hate that dirt accumulates under my fingernails for no real reason. I hate that I don't have any nice furniture. I hate that my cat sheds too much. I hate that I don't know how to tweeze my own eyebrows. I hate that my body is not completely hairless. I hate that I have been on a life long search for the perfect color lipgloss and come up empty handed. I hate that my roommate broke the round dish thing in my microwave and still hasnt replaced it. I hate that I will never have the nerve to ask him to. I hate that I am scared to get a rental car when I go on vacation for no reason at all. I hate that for some reason my old blog disappeared. I hate that I don't know how to get the universal remote control for my TV to work. I hate people who refuse to use their blinker. I hate that I haven't finished editing my short film. I hate that I go out every weekend with the vague idea that maybe I'll meet an interesting guy. I hate the word man. I hate that my blankets won't fit in the washer. I hate that I hate figuring out what I hate. I hate dust. I hate that people aren't more humble. I hate that I have never sang in a band. I hate that I'm too lazy to make a salad. I hate saying goodbye and I hate that I hate saying goodbye because that is cliche.