The words that drove Zidane to kiss the final moments of his career goodbye

The fact that I watched today's Worldcup was really just a stroke of luck. My roommate turned it on and I was immediately into it.

For the 3 of you who don't already know it was the final game. France and Italy were tied 1-1. I have no alliances, so it seemed clear to me that France was playing the superior game. Anyways, they're all playing pretty hard. They go into overtime. First overtime: 15 minutes. Nobody scores. They go into a second overtime: Another 15 minutes. Again, no score. Now it's time for the kicks. Five penalty kicks are allotted for each team. Their 5 best kickers go to bat against one goalie. France misses and Itally wins with a 3-2 penalty kick in overtime. Now I could stop here. You would walk away thinking that was a pretty amazing game. But that wasn't the only amazing part. The astonishing part happened a few minutes into the first overtime.

Zadine (France's capt.) and Materazzi (Italy) have been at each other's throats all day, that's no secret. Now we see them quietly press each other's buttons for a moment. They're clearly taunting each other. The ball is nowhere near them, but they're on top of each other. Materazzi appears to tweak Zadine's tit slightly. They seperate. Materazzi says something and suddenly history is made when a split second later Zadine turns around, ball nowhere in site, and headbutts Materazzi with more gusto than a headbutt has ever been excecuted by anyone. Materazzi is hit so hard he literally takes flight and falls on his ass. Check it out, It's AMAZING!

Now even though it is very clearly on camera that the head butt is gross misconduct, at least one ref has to have seen it live to give the penalty. One does. No idea if he's fibbing or not, but he calls it. Zidane, who has already announced his retirement beforehand, Zidane France's talented team captain, is red carded out of the game. As in off the field, no sitting in the bleachers, see ya later, goodbye to you. The final moment of his career. He's not even allowed back, and rightly so, and cannot even participate in the ceremony afterwards. Poor France walks away, cup lost, without even a leader's hand to hold. Amazing. Wicked. It leaves billions wondering, "What the hell did Materazzi say that was so terrible?"

So what was the phrase that drove Zidane over the edge? I have the answer on good authority. Here's how it went down:

Step 1) The titty twister

Step 2) Followed by a "Fuck off" from Zadine.

and then the straw that broke the camel's back...

Step 3) Materazzi saying, "You are ZeDane Cook of soccer."

So really, how can you blame the guy?