Spinning girl privates!

Some poor actresses in this new Tampax Pearl commercial may stumble upon this blog someday, and for that I apologize. I wish she hadn't googled and ended up here. Because she's probably not going to be feeling too great after she reads it. But whatever, at least she has health insurance, so she can just get a therapist and deal with it I guess.

Okay here's a breakdown of the commercial in question:

Commercial: (Vo) Tampax Pearl expands width-wise to fit your unique form in every direction.

Translation: That means it seals the um vagina up better. A helpful feature in a tampon.

Commercial: They show a graphic of a tampon expanding in a circular fashion.

Translation: Tampons that don't do this expand in one or two directions, but not in more than one direction like this one claims to do. That could lead to icky messes for a chick with a heavy flow, the wrong size tampon, or I would imagine someone who has a big twat. (I only go into detail for anyone who doesn't already get that. ie A few of you, I'm sure.)

Okay now tampon commercials have to delicately smooth over this info without completely disregarding it altogether. for obvious reasons. Not an easy task, I'm sure. But it's this next part that is really worth mentioning...

Commercial: An arial shot of a chick wearing a long skirt. She is twirling around. Her skirt ballons out in every direction. (in a way similar to how the Tampax Pearl tampon does. (VO) Tampax Pearl expands width-wise to fit your unique form.

Translation: This girl is a HUGE DANCING TAMPON!

It is so fucking awesome. I know this chick probably didn't realize that. Maybe she was a little dumb. Maybe she just kept telling herself that the co-pay on the sag medical was really good. We all need our insulin. If so, I completely undestand. It is indeed a great health plan. I miss it terribley. But more likely than not, she just thought she was spinning around to imply how happy she is that tampax has invented this new great tapmon. Which is the literal translation. But jeesh, you don't often get to see enormous dancing tampons on primetime and I look forwad to seeing it every chance I get!